A Wholly Uninteresting Arrangement
by SpammishRice
Summary: ShikaHinaSasu drabbles; title is tongue-in-cheek .  Ch 5 - In a moment of weakness, Sasuke is finally captured by two of the most efficient and oddly hospitable ANBU he's ever come across.
1. Nightmare :: ShikaHinaSasu

Hey everyone! I thought it was time to put pen to paper (fingers to keyboard to word processor to published piece?) and let loose all these little drabble bunnies that I've been collecting for my OT3, ShikaHinaSasu. Though, I should clarify and say that these drabbles may be any combination of the three of them. So to warn you, you'll not only see ShikaHinaSasu, but ShikaHina, SasuHina, and ShikaSasu as well (BOYLOVE WHAT).

ALSO, I'm open to suggestions and prompts, so feel free to hit me with your best shot!

* * *

_The blood red sky barely contrasted with the sickening and similarly colored ground, making what was simply the horizon a blurry presence as if the color of the earth was slowly seeping upward. Though, to the man running through the street, katana in hand, shirt soaked well and through with the deaths of his own people, it was hardly worth noticing. Every face he came upon was one he'd known all his life, and their expressions systematically turned from angry or fearful to lifeless. He wouldn't even look at the children; that at least was too much to bear as he felt the resistance of his blade pulling roughly through bodies._

_Somewhere deep in the recesses of sense, a consciousness was screaming for it to stop, trying in vain to stop the arms from butchering any more of his Clan. When the murderer came upon who the consciousness recognized as his own parents, it was all he could do to scream his protestations, unheard in the mind of the killer despite the consciousness' horrifying awareness of the slick rending of his family._

_It wasn't until the unrepentant murderer looked up that the consciousness saw the tear-stained and terrified face of himself as a child._

"_...Nii-san?"_

"Shit!" Shikamaru cursed as he realized the raven-haired man who shared his bed was thrashing in the throes of another nightmare. His second bedmate was already awake and attempting to still the sleeping man, her worried white eyes going back and forth between the two men while she held the fitful man down by his shoulders in an attempt to prevent him from hurting himself.

"How long has he been like this?" the Nara asked the young woman.

She pulled the slumbering man's clawing hand off her nightshirt and held him by the wrist. "N-not long. I only just woke up myself."

The two didn't even bother trying to wake up their suffering companion; they'd experienced this enough times to know using outside influences was impossible. They woke up merely to protect himself and wait out the worst of it.

"Hinata, help me sit him up," Shikamaru instructed. The young woman nodded and did her best to position herself behind their sleep partner, who moaned incoherently while flingling his limbs erratically. She pushed him up from the shoulders as the Nara grabbed him around the waist to assist.

"S-shikamaru," Hinata called over the sleeper's twitching shoulder as she hugged him round him middle to minimize his movement. "This seems like one of the more violent nightmares." She held fast, her bed-frazzled head resting against the sleeping man's bare back.

_Dammit, Sasuke, _Shikamaru thought as he gripped the flailing Uchiha's wrists to keep him from injuring all three of them. Though Sasuke was thrashing violently, his head fell limp on Shikamaru's shoulder. It made it much easier to keep the Uchiha from giving himself a concussion.

Long minutes passed as the Hyuuga and Nara held their companion in the darkness, moonlight streaming through the nearby window and highlighting their struggle. Sporadic mumbling and moaning gradually crescendoed to consistent wails and yells. Flailing limbs turned into frenzied and violent convulsions to the point where Shikamaru couldn't even keep the Uchiha's head safely still without risking his own head injury. Whether she knew it or not, Shikamaru always chose to be in front of the nightmare-suffering Uchiha because his arms couldn't reach Hinata when she held him from behind. It was one less thing to worry about.

When Shikamaru was sure he just barely dodged an inadvertent headbutt into oblivion he decided to pull their Ace.

"Hinata, time for the last resort."

She looked up, dark circles under her tear-shined eyes. The two silently moved into the position that proved time and again the most effective. The Nara held strong as he guided the other man's body back to a prone state. He quickly made the hand seals for his shadow jutsu, twining the dark tendrils around Sasuke's convulsing body to hold him down. When Shikamaru was sure the shadows had most of the grunt work taken care of, he leaned down to hold Sasuke's head still in a gentle yet firm grip. The small Hyuuga woman hiked up her sleep shorts and straddled the man's chest and used her knees to press his shoulders into the mattress to minimize the twisting of Sasuke's torso; what she was about to do required intense focus and concentration. After she exchanged a nod of readiness with Shikamaru, she activated her Byakugan and drew herself closer to Sasuke's face, sweat beading on his furrowed brow.

She lightly placed the tips of her thumbs' tenketsu down on his closed eyes, resting her fingers on the sides of Sasuke's face for leverage. His eyes were moving frantically under his closed lids and she dared not blink so she wouldn't miss her chance. Down, right, left, down, up, and back around. She waited patiently for his pupils to fall in line with her positioned thumbs. If she didn't get this angle right, she could permanently blind him.

There! It happened within a split of a split second, and she shot the thinnest possible streams of chakra through the tenketsu in her thumbs directly into the Uchiha's optic nerves. His body tensed for a moment, then quieted. Hinata dismounted him as he took in shuddering breaths, and she and Shikamaru took up their previous positions as they sat Sasuke up again, groggy in a lighter phase of sleep. This time, they held their companion to comfort rather than protect, the Uchiha's wet and racking sobs muffled in the Nara's shoulder, his shirt gripped for dear life and picking up wet splotches, while the Hyuuga held him close around his chest, stroking his hair and whispering soft assurances.

The nightmares were getting fewer and farther between, though they never got easier to deal with. Ever since Sasuke inherited his brother's eyes, he'd began having what seemed to be Itachi's visions of the past, which made the younger brother's already horrific nightmares even worse when seen from the elder brother's eyes with his role as the murderer of the entire Uchiha Clan. It was years before Shikamaru and Hinata's then-fruitless research resulted in their unique method of halting the nightmares. It was extremely risky and only used in the worst situations, and even then only when they were both present.

Since the three would never discuss the events of a nightmare-filled night the following morning, they weren't sure what Sasuke saw after the chakra charge debilitating the Sharingan's nightmare visions, but judging by how quickly he fell back to otherwise peaceful sleep, they imagined it had to be better than what he was seeing before.

Though, in the mornings following such events, it was always nice to find Sasuke had quietly made breakfast for them.

* * *

**Author's Notes: **

This was for the Nightmare prompt for the ShikaHinaSasu 100 Themes, which can be found at the Coat of Arms LJ Community devoted to the threesome. You can find it here: http:/ community. livejournal. com/ shikahinasasu/ profile, without the spaces.


	2. Friendship :: ShikaSasu

"Uchiha."

It wasn't a greeting. It wasn't a question. Perhaps it was just an acknowledgment. Shikamaru didn't really care how the other man saw it.

The addressed, stoic and stock-still, yet still brimming with crackling energy just behind the eyes, didn't budge from his spot in the middle of the path Shikamaru took almost daily to his lounging solitude on a grassy hill.

The Nara grumbled an irritated sigh. "...Did you want something?"

This game, if that's what it was, had gotten old fast.

Six months ago, Uchiha Sasuke, a shinobi ranked amongst the greatest of the traitors of Konoha, had returned for reasons only known to him. Voluntarily. Knowing full well that treason was an offense which was punishable by death. But being well and truly the very last living Uchiha, his life was spared. Not that he went without punishment. It was sheer good behavior on his part that he was even allowed out of his apartment without a chaperone half a year after coming back.

Three months ago was when Shikamaru noticed he saw the Uchiha in passing more frequently than was expected. It used to be a rare thing to come across each other even when they were in the Academy together, and in the very same class no less. Mostly, it had to do with Shikamaru's habit of sleeping through the lessons, and Sasuke's habit of ignoring just about everybody. Now, they were crossing paths at least a few times a week. At the Korean barbecue joint he frequented with Chouji and Ino, at the training fields, in the marketplace, even a couple times at the smoky and seedy shogi den Shikamaru would visit every so often. And every time, he felt those black eyes on him. It had gotten to the point where the Nara would feel the stare before seeing the starer. If he didn't know better, he'd have thought he was being openly stalked. And it was open quite purposely, because Shikamaru was damn sure if Sasuke wanted to be hidden, he'd be all but invisible to even the most skilled jounin.

And there stood the Uchiha, not even using the pretense of eating ribs, or buying apples, or playing shogi, standing on the narrow dirt path separating Shikamaru from his sanctuary.

Long moments passed in silence. The Nara was never the type to make the first move. It seemed Uchiha was the same type.

Shikamaru, hands in pockets, shifted his weight from one leg to the other. "Well?"

_For crap's sake, just say something already._ Sasuke was the first to break eye contact, and tilted his head upwards, looking up at the sky.

Shikamaru's mouth twisted to the side in consternation. This guy was worse than a woman. Stalking, silent treatment, approaching then ignoring. What the fuck? He languidly continued on the path, and with a slight tilt of his head, wordlessly invited the Uchiha to walk with him.

Casual loping matching stride for stride, the two men walked across the open expanse of grass. Walking perfectly side by side, Shikamaru noted that Sasuke seemed to know exactly where to go and wasn't actually following him. Unnerving. Sasuke must have watched him come here several times already.

Without preamble, he stopped at a patch of grass that seemed permanently flattened for all his lounging, and settled himself, but didn't lie down as he usually did. He had a guest with him. It'd be rude.

His guest settled next to him, silent as ever, not so much as a side glance at his host.

"Take your time. I have all afternoon," the pony-tailed young man said, impatience ebbing away now that he was where he wanted to be. He really couldn't care less if Sasuke decided to inform him of his reasons for approaching him, be it today, tomorrow, or next year. He felt no killing intent in the times they'd seen each other in passing, no aggression of any kind. Just a sort of barely leashed intensity. Plus, Sasuke was quiet. Shikamaru didn't mind that at all.

When the Nara was quite sure he was going to end up napping before anything noteworthy could happen, the silence was broken.

"You were leading the team that was meant to retrieve me," Sasuke started.

The Nara hummed his confirmation. It wasn't a secret, though it still embarrassed him. A 12-year-old newly promoted Chuunin, handed what was easily a Jounin-level mission, leading a team of kids no older than himself, and failing the mission spectacularly.

"Your personality and reputation suggest you're the kind of shinobi who would choose to cut his losses and back away." _Rather than get practically the whole team killed_, it went unsaid, but it was understood.

Shikamaru exhaled sharply but slowly. This conversation wasn't one he wanted to have with the person who was the _reason_ they all could have died needlessly.

"I don't follow how this pertains to your following me." No sense beating around the bush. If Sasuke made no effort to hide his presence, Shikamaru made no effort to pretend he was unaware.

After a long pause, the raven-haired young man replied, "I suppose I just wanted to figure out why you did it."

_Did what?_

As if reading his mind, Sasuke continued, "I wanted to know why someone who otherwise didn't have any connection to me would go to such extreme measures to bring me back."

Shikamaru, brow furrowed, answered, "There were five of us, if you didn't know."

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the Uchiha nod in understanding, "But you led them."

Indeed, he led them. He had final say on everything as the leader. If he had decided to retreat at the point when it looked like they were going in over their heads, his team would not have questioned him, save Naruto. But Naruto was Naruto, so that hardly counted. Instead, he ended up breaking up the team the further they followed Sasuke, thinning out their number in what was likely the dumbest strategy known to shinobi.

And it was then that Shikamaru realized what Sasuke was asking. Despite the risks, despite the overwhelming odds, despite knowing the other chose to leave,

_Why did you come for me?_

Shikamaru's famously intelligent mind faltered. He knew why he _went_, he even gave an uncharacteristic speech about it right before heading out of the gates. But he never really thought about why he _kept going_. A child could reason fairly easily that losing five loyal shinobi was not worth losing one traitorous one. And why was Uchiha even bringing this up nearly a decade after the fact?

"Are you saying I shouldn't have bothered?" It wasn't a serious question. He came back on his own after all.

"Now you're just avoiding it," Sasuke smirked.

The taller boy ran a hand over his wild ponytail and matched the other smirk for smirk. "I could just as easily ask why you came back on your own."

Jet black hair hid blacker eyes as the Uchiha turned his face downwards in what might have been contemplation and silence reigned. Shikamaru figured it was unfair of him to ask something that was likely classified information when the question he was asked was merely speculative.

"...I don't know," the Nara answered belatedly, though clarifying what he was answering was unnecessary. His eyes drifted to the side – did Uchiha look...disappointed?

"It wasn't because of orders," he elaborated. "I suppose it was because I looked up to you in school." And he honestly did, in between his naps at least.

"Tch." The incredulity was apparent, though Shikamaru didn't bother to absolve Sasuke's skepticism.

"And why did you let me follow you for three months? It certainly can't be because of a schoolboy's admiration."

Well, that was entirely unexpected, and very true. Why _did_ the strategist allow it? The Uchiha's criminal history was enough that even the tiniest offense during his probation would have him thrown in a cell indefinitely. True, Shikamaru felt no malice coming from his follower, but it was questionable behavior at best. He chalked it up to not wanting to deal with the hassles of written complaints and the extended interview and interrogation process that would ensue, but even he knew there was more to it.

In all those times that he sensed the Uchiha watching him, it wasn't hatred or anger he saw in the bottomless darkness of his eyes. He couldn't name it specifically, but the closest word he could come up with was loneliness, dark and intense. It certainly explained why he was so curious about a veritable stranger caring enough to risk _five _lives for him, and why he made his presence known to the point where Shikamaru had to begrudgingly invite him to join him (because Sasuke would probably drop dead before inviting someone else to hang out with him, God forbid anyone come to the conclusion that he _wants_ to be around people).

When it came right down to it, Sasuke just wanted companionship, Shikamaru concluded. Not an eternal rival, or a former fangirl, or a perverted mentor with a tardiness problem. And Shikamaru wasn't one to begrudge a poor soul who was too embarrassed or proud or just plain clueless. Sure, Sasuke could be kind of a prick, but Shikamaru could think of far worse people stalking him for his friendship.

He sighed as he heaved himself off the ground and brushed the grass from the back of his pants. "So, are you actually any good at Shogi, or were you just hanging out in the den to look pretty?"

In a single fluid movement, Sasuke rose to his feet, damnable smirk twisting his lips. "Perhaps both," he replied as the two men headed back into town.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Honestly, I have no idea what I was aiming for here. I started out with an idea, and it was going really well in the beginning, and somewhere in there it led to a totally different ending than I was anticipating. But I like the beginning and the end, perhaps separately. I was inspired by the Sasuke Retrieval arc (sooooo long ago) and I thought about Shikamaru's motivation. Obviously, I kind of didn't GO ANYWHERE with that, but whatever. If/when inspiration hits me, I suppose I'll split this drabble into two separate and unrelated pieces.

Also, it's thanks to that arc that Shikamaru has so many yaoi pairings. I doubt NejiShika, KibaShika, NaruShika, and even ChoujiShika would have nearly as many fans if it wasn't for that arc. And I really do find it intriguing that he'd go so far to get Sasuke back. It wasn't what made me ship them, but it's a fun idea to play with.


	3. Keima :: ShikaHinaSasu

**Dedicated to BlueQuartzFoxy - HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Hope you like!

* * *

  
**

"Well, the Intelligence Department certainly fucked this one up."

Well hidden in the boughs of towering evergreens, a three-man ANBU squad was observing the campsite of what was supposed to be a band of plundering thieves. Instead, upon the return of the Hyuuga member from her brief reconnaissance, they learned that it was small army of pillagers from an organized crime ring of exiled ronin and shinobi.

The ANBU who had spoken was crouched just below his female teammate, who was utilizing her kekkei genkai to get a more accurate gauge of what they were up against. His fingers lightly ran the length of Kusanagi's handle.

"Stay your hand," came a low drawl from next to the anxious ANBU.

"I had no intention of jumping in unprepared, Captain," he replied in a slightly amused tone, though the team leader could hear the frustration in the gritting of teeth.

Above them, their female squad member sighed. "My count may not be accurate since they're constantly moving, but I'm already up to twenty-four in just the northern half of the camp."

"Alright, that settles it," the team leader ran his hand lazily over his spiked ponytail. "We withdraw for now with the information that we have, and the Hokage can come up with a more appropriate course of action."

"I'd like to see you try," a dry, crackling voice that none of the team members recognized cut in from the darkness.

Instantly, the three ANBU formed a haphazard ring among the branches to protect their backs and face what was now becoming an enclosing circle of enemies judging by the rustling sounds coming from every direction.

The blue-haired Hyuuga woman was frantically looking back and forth with her Byakugan, trying to determine where the voice had come from. "I hear them, but I don't see anything. No movement, no chakra systems, nothing."

The man to her right activated his own kekkei genkai with a quiet whisper, "Sharingan."

"What do you see, Sasuke?" the taller man inquired.

"Twelve men surrounding us. A thirteenth making his way back to camp."

"But with no hint of chakra?"

"I'd tell you to focus in harder, Hinata, but you're going to need that extra chakra," Sasuke answered.

Then he turned to look at the camp. "...shit."

The Hyuuga looked over her shoulder to see for herself. She could see the camp mobilizing. Then she noticed how the visible energies interacted with something invisible to the Byakugan.

The voice sliced through the darkness again, "Don't bother. You won't see them until they're right in front of you." At that, the owner of the voice, revealed himself in a sliver of moonlight. From his attire and the two blade handles visible from under his elbow, it was apparent that he was one of the ronin, a masterless samurai.

It was then while training her active Byakugan at the man that Hinata realized why she couldn't see anyone, "They have no chakra systems!" She was about to give her eyes an extra burst of strength, but her captain interrupted her.

"One burst, Hinata, just to count how many we're facing. Then reserve what you can for whatever enemy is in front of you."

"Yes, Captain." She concentrated for a moment, pushing her life force into her vision, the veins around her eyes spreading and expanding even further down her cheeks. Out of the darkness, barely contrasting with their background, slowly slinking bodies made their way to them. They moved like nothing she'd ever seen, certainly not like shinobi or samurai. But what alarmed her more was the sheer number of them.

"I estimate sixty just within the immediate thirty yard radius," she announced under her breath.

The Uchiha unsheathed his blade and the tomoe in his red eyes spun lazily, anticipating a battle heavy in hand-to-hand combat with a foe that far outnumbered him. To his right, the captain had his hands in a circle, the tell-tale sign of his strategizing. He straightened to his full height.

"You both need to leave."

"Shikamaru!" the girl cried, while Sasuke merely looked at him through narrowed eyes.

"Hinata, as unmatched as you are in taijutsu, your style still relies on not only your own chakra stores, but being able to disable the enemy's stores as well. We're facing someone immune to your tactics." He turned slightly toward his male teammate. "As for you, your Sharingan won't even begin to cover five dozen individual enemies."

"You're not staying behind," Sasuke stated plainly.

"I am."

"There's no reason for you to."

"To get you both out alive and with your eyes intact. Argue all you want, but we all know who the expendable one is here."

"Captain..." Hinata softly said, before being forced to duck as a sharp projectile flew dangerously close to her temple. The heaviness of the night combined with the enemies' strange chakraless forms left them all but blind, but the movements they managed to catch left them under the impression that they were being toyed with.

It was made apparent that the thrown weapon had been the warning shot, because the three-man team was suddenly engulfed in a wave of clanging weapons and overlapping attacks. The Hyuuga woman was doing well defending herself, modifying her fighting style if only to detract a direct hit, but it was all she could do with the two, four, seven enemies raining attacks on her. The Uchiha had managed to blindly slice at several of the quick-footed foes, but his blade was proving unwieldy in what was fast becoming an intensely close-range battle.

Shikamaru surveyed what was happening around him as four more faceless enemies delivered well-timed blows meant to overwhelm him. He thanked his luck that years of sparring with an Uchiha and a Hyuuga improved his taijutsu to rival Rock Lee, at least on a bad day. Parrying and deflecting, it became clear they were aiming to capture and not kill. Still, it left the option for grievous injury open so long as it wasn't fatal.

As if it was a test of precognizance, he heard a feminine strangled scream and caught a glimpse of Hinata falling to her knees,a gaping wound on her back heavily weeping blood. He made a mad scramble for her, shoving aside any and all obstacles, be they tree branches or bodies, and found an enemy towering over her, positioned to deal the consciousness-killing blow. Someone had made a grab around his ankles, and he took a kick to the gut that knocked the wind out of him and made his vision burst into twinkling behind his lids. Just when he thought he wouldn't make it to the woman in time, Sasuke, his Sharingan's tomoe spinning wildly, jumped into the fray, slicing cleanly through Hinata's assailant's jugular, but it seemed when one enemy was taken out, three more would pop up.

Shikamaru, now assured of his teammate's safety, had resorted to wrestling his opponent off of him by sheer brute strength, throwing the other man over his back while keeping hold of his arm, effectively twisting it out of its socket. Two more were coming at him, and he crouched low, kunai in each hand and allowing them to believe they had the upper hand by simple positioning before spinning around and slicing into the tendons just below their calves.

Sasuke was doing significantly worse now, having to hold onto the Hyuuga woman who could barely watch her teammate's back, and fight off the continuous onslaught. He let out a ragged grunt when several kunai embedded themselves in his shoulder and forearm, disabling his sword hand.

The Nara made use of his renowned quick thinking, seeing they were about to be overpowered by sheer numbers. In a last ditch explosion of his remaining chakra, he spread his shadow into the farthest and darkest corners of their forest battle, gripping every enemy he could sense with the snaking tendrils.

Sasuke, with Hinata groggily leaning on him, spun to find his captain crouched low in his exertion, a web of shadow stretched from below and out in every direction. From his peripheral, he could see the masked opponents trying to break the hold on them with nothing more than their combined strength against a single man's jutsu.

"...get out."

The Uchiha made to start toward his captain, but was stopped in his tracks by a slender shadow thread.

"Get out NOW."

The shadow was released in favor of holding their many assailants. Sasuke made no move to leave, however.

"Take Hinata and get the hell out of here while you still have enough left in you to make the trip back. That's an ORDER, Sasuke."

The raven-haired man swallowed hard. He picked up his now unconscious comrade, her wound bleeding out over his arms, and with a small reluctant nod, let loose a blinding flashbomb and disappeared.

The ANBU captain held on for as long as he could, in the desperate hope that he could give his teammates a good enough window to escape into untrackability. He held his shadow jutsu over the patch of forest until he fell unconscious from his depleted chakra.

* * *

After an overnight stop in a cave to dress their wounds and rest for several much-needed hours, the two slowly made their way back to the village, taking three days in their direly drained states. With Hinata immediately carted off to the hospital for her drastic injury, Sasuke was left to recount the failed mission to the Hokage.

Tsunade was most interested in this new kind of enemy that had no chakra to speak of but could fight on the same level as her ANBU, albeit by using overwhelming numbers. Sasuke could hardly give a shit for anything else after leaving Shikamaru to the wolves an agonizing seventy-two hours ago. For all his arguing and reasoning and plain outright yelling, the Hokage felt it was too risky to send out a rescue party for a single person from an enemy they knew next to nothing about. What little energy the Uchiha had left was used to give the Hokage his one-fingered salute, and he finally succumbed to the exhaustion after slamming the door behind him.

* * *

A long line of cool wetness trailed along her back, soothing and stinging at the same time. Hinata blearily opened her eyes, her vision fuzzy and oversensitive. After a few moments, the sleep cleared away and she saw Sasuke sleeping in the hospital bed next to her. Then she noticed that she was lying on her stomach, and someone was running a wet cloth slowly up and down her back. She turned her head to find Sakura squeezing the towel over a large bowl of water. She coughed a little to inform her caretaker that she was awake, and it was all she could do not to wail in pain when her pink-haired friend dived face first into the injured woman's shoulder for a hug.

"S-sakura, I'm okay," she reassured her friend, feeling awkward that she wasn't in a position to return the embrace.

"Sure, _now_ you are! You slept for seven days straight!" Sakura exclaimed, eyes watering but still smiling nonetheless. Her smile waned as she pulled away, and she added, "You almost didn't make it."

The petite Hyuuga girl only smiled back, "I suppose it got pretty close out there." Indeed, they were _too _close to death then, she recalled. With mention of her team, she was reminded of their captain. She looked past Sakura and saw that the third bed in the room was empty. She and Sasuke were the only occupants. This realization made her frown slightly, but didn't cause her to worry. If she remembered correctly, he was in the best shape of all of them before she blacked out.

"Where's Shikamaru?"

Sakura's lips pressed into a solemn thin line, eyes looking away from the Hyuuga's all-seeing pale ones.

"He didn't come back with you."

Hinata choked mid-breath, then turned her head away. Sakura continued to clean the young woman's wound around hitching breaths and quiet sniffles, and quietly left afterward.

* * *

When Sasuke woke several hours later, the girl in the bed next to him was wide awake, tears silently flowing and soaking into her pillow while she stared unfocused out the window.

"Hinata."

Her eyes flickered to the Uchiha, and she took in a shuddering breath. "Sasuke! How are you feeling?" Her voice was slightly muffled from her pillow.

"I'm sorry."

This only served to break the dam and release a fresh wave of tears from Hinata. "It's not your fault," she mumbled around hiccups. She knew that even though he was sitting stonefaced and silent, he was taking it much harder than she was. It was something she and Shikamaru learned to accept when the three of them started living together, a direct result of his tragic childhood, tunnel-visioned teenage years, the inevitable loss of his clan's honor and identity. Failure was an entirely different beast to Sasuke.

_Shikamaru, did you even think how Sasuke would take it if you sacrificed yourself?_, she thought to herself, not bitterly, but still depressed.

"I think he's alive," Sasuke said out of the blue.

"...what?"

Dark eyes trained out the window. "They weren't aiming to kill us out there. I think they wanted to take us alive."

Hinata was a little hard pressed to believe that, with a gash from her nape to the small of her back preventing her from laying comfortably in bed.

"Their strength in numbers and their method of attack, they could have killed us within minutes," Sasuke explained. "If they didn't want him dead, then they've already screwed themselves over by giving Shikamaru enough time to come up with a way to escape them."

He sounded sure of himself, but the way his jaw clenched while keeping his eyes carefully away from hers told her he was still worried. Still, the confidence he had in the Nara was steadfast.

* * *

In the dead of night, Sasuke was leaning on the kitchen counter, sipping a cup of tea in the hopes of settling his nightmare-racked mind. It was bad enough that he was plagued with his brother's visions with his inherited eyes, but now he was having dreams recounting the night he and Hinata left Shikamaru behind, and it tore him up even more. It was only made worse by the fact that Hinata cried herself to sleep nearly every night since they returned three weeks ago. She did her best to hide it, but he could smell the saltiness in the pillows. He began to fume irrationally in his sleep deprivation

His hazy mind was instantly alert at the sound of syncopated thumps approaching from outside their apartment door. From the rear hallway, he heard the Hyuuga girl sprint to the front room where Sasuke was now waiting with his weapons pouch already open. Except, her Byakugan was active and she had the biggest smile he'd ever seen on her, especially in the last few weeks.

Now knowing exactly who it was opening their door, he tossed his weapons pouch aside, but still stomped up to their visitor in an angry huff, arm cocked back ready the right hook of his life.

Shikamaru heard the commotion in his apartment well before he opened the front door. And unsurprisingly, Sasuke was going to greet him in the only way he knew how after thinking him dead – by punching his lights out. Even in his exhausted and battered state, he let Sasuke come at him, and at the last second caught his fist just inches from his head. The two men stared eye to eye for long tense moments, one with dulled brown eyes with a hint of amusement, the other boiling in its blackness, which suddenly cooled when the taller suddenly pulled him into a suffocating hug. Hinata, who had been watching the interesting exchange between her two men with a small smile, finally approached, and upon being welcomed into their embrace, both she and Sasuke pulled Shikamaru's face to their lips and kissed every inch they could cover, from his heavily drooping eyelids to his somewhat scruffy chin.

After chuckling at their affection, he asked that he at least be allowed to accept their attentions while sitting down.

"You lazy bastard," the raven haired man sniped, though he was pulling the Nara's stiff arm over his shoulders to assist him to their bedroom. Hinata busied herself preparing a midnight meal for their returned captain. She heard the bath running and Sasuke instructing Shikamaru to lift his arms to remove his shirt, and Shikamaru's pained grunts as he was helped out of his clothes.

"You troublesome lot, I could've just crashed on the couch."

"Shut up and get in the bath."

"I can do it myself-"

"Like you'd ever turn down an offer to be bathed."

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Wheeee, more ShikaHinaSasu! This idea came about from reading a ShikaHinaSasu fic in which it was implied that Shikamaru was the one who took the heaviest hits, if only to protect the other two. Which is fitting, seeing as how he's the 'knight' of the trio. The Knight in Shining Hitai-ate, protecting the dark prince and sunny princess. So this is my gift to BlueQuartzFoxy, who shares my love for this threesome. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CHICA!**  
**


	4. The Red Abyss :: ShikaHinaSasu

_I must not look away. No matter what, I CANNOT look away._

Crouched low and staring with his Sharingan activated as if his life depended on it, Sasuke silently marveled at what he beheld. The foreignness of the situation turned his stomach, but he _had_ to keep watching. The living record provided by his Sharingan would be something to treasure for the rest of his life.

So much was going on around him, he wasn't sure how or where he should focus. Harsh flourescent lighting bore down on his subject, making the seeping blood and fluids seem like an impressionist painter's wet dream. Personnel twittered about, ducking in and out and around with bloody rags, used needles, metal gadgets with hinges and clamps and goodness knows what else. The Uchiha gripped the wood armrests of his chair to steady his dizziness. He was a full-blown shinobi, damn it. The fact that he was even the slightest bit uncomfortable was utterly shameful.

A feminine guttural scream cut the gravity of the room, machines beeping and sounds of flesh rending briefly interrupted. Sasuke wondered if the Sharingan recorded sound as well, or if there was a mute option. Sweat beaded on his brow, his kekkei genkai draining his chakra slowly and steadily the last couple of hours, but he had trained and practiced for this situation well ahead of time for months in advance. He was nothing if not prepared.

They were getting close. The screaming became louder and more frequent, the specialists rushing a little more frantically. The raven-haired man suddenly found it difficult to breathe with his heart in his throat and his stomach roiling. He swallowed thickly, but the simple action involving his own bodily fluids just served to emphasize how ill he felt. It was all he could do to not fall out of his chair in a dead faint when he witnessed the slow, painful emergence from the ghastly red abyss...

_This was the future. His legacy._

_

* * *

_

"SASUKE! What are you _doing_ down there?" Hinata screamed from the birthing table, legs spread-eagle in the stirrups. She bore down hard, grunting in a way that would put the hairiest manly men to shame.

Shikamaru, his hand nearly purple from Hinata's vice-like grip, looked down to the end of the table where he found their companion staring raptly under the tent that was woman's hospital gown stretched over her knees. "For crap's sake, Sasuke, I _brought a camera!_"

* * *

**Author's Note:**

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Sorry, had to have a funny drabble. Forgive me.


	5. Captured :: ShikaHinaSasu

The last Uchiha sat brooding in front of a roaring fire, the darkness of the night made heavier by the dense forest. Other than the crackling of the firewood and the symphony of crickets, no other noise was emitted.

Normally black eyes glowed orange in the firelight as Sasuke glared at nothing in particular. He rolled his shoulders as an itch developed smack in the middle of his back. He knew he'd never reach it with each wrist bound to the opposite arm's forearm behind his back, but movement at least distracted him somewhat from the annoyance. Awkwardly, he tried to re-balance himself despite having his arms and legs bound.

A stick coming from the side of his vision interrupted his purposeless staring and poked at the glowing logs to expose more burnable surface area. Sasuke glanced to the source of the stick and eyed one of his captors through his thick bangs. The hand holding the stick was distinctly feminine, pale and graceful. Very unexpected, as it belonged to an ANBU.

_He had let his guard down just once and it was all it took for the two elite ANBU to pounce, their movements so cleanly complementary he found himself at a huge disadvantage. Two figures practically liquefied in and out of the shadows of the mossy swamp, like paintings in motion. He immediately moved to make the hand signs to activate his Mangekyo – no point starting with the weaker Sharingan on shinobi so obviously advanced – and found he was already pinned. By the very shadows he had hoped would cloak him._

Sasuke was sure of two things: his captors' kekkei genkai were of the Nara and Hyuuga clans. While the Nara bound him with shadows, the Hyuuga disabled his entire chakra system, though with the way their teamwork was completely enmeshed with each other, he had no way of telling who was using which technique. It was so quickly and perfectly done, he could have laughed, if it didn't mean he was being brought back to that goddamn village to see that goddamn bastard who he was sure sent these two goddamn ANBU after him.

From behind the Uchiha, crunching footsteps revealed the second ANBU, a tall, lanky male, with firewood under one arm and fresh-caught fish hanging from the other arm. He greeted the female ANBU with a jerky nod of his head, and she tilted hers in turn. Sasuke rolled his eyes. These two had been completely silent from the moment they revealed themselves to him. It was likely a new regulation to make it harder to identify agents who were meant to be anonymous if one never heard their voices. The Uchiha somehow doubted his idiot former teammate and current Hokage was smart enough to come up with something like that.

The prisoner, uncomfortably bound and propped up against a scratchy log, studied his captors. With minimal hand signals and head motions, they had essentially figured out who was cooking dinner, taking first watch, and the rest of the travel itinerary. Their long-standing work history together was quite apparent and made the Uchiha wonder how long the two had been tailing him to reach a level of total synchronicity and wordless communication. Even the way they ate their dinner felt like a delicate balance.

After their meal, Sasuke watched a brief exchange of flapping hands and pointing fingers between them, and the man jumped up into the leafy overhang of the tree branches above them. The woman, surprisingly, picked up a cooked fish and approached the Uchiha with the clear intent to feed him. He smirked. She must be one of those girls from when he was younger that had a crush on him, and an utter moron if she felt such pity for him as to let a prisoner eat dinner. He made a mental note to mention this flawed behavior to the Hokage, just to rub it in his face that even his elite were weak-willed.

When she finally crouched before him, he realized just how small she actually was, but that thought was quickly erased when she got a firm grip on his shoulders and with seemingly little effort, sat him up properly against the log. Still kneeling in front of him, she began to tear the fish into bite-sized pieces with porcelain fingers that clashed oddly with the standard issue metal-plated fingerless gloves she wore.

But what was this? Was she seriously going to_ hand feed_ him? He was NOT going to have some fangirl get herself off on putting her fingers in his mouth.

"Untie me," he said as her morsel-bearing hand closed in on him.

She merely tilted her head in a doll-like way. _What for?_

"I don't want your fingers in my mouth."

The woman paused a beat, then brought up her fingers for inspection, nails immaculately clean and skin, though scarred in some places, completely free of anything that would disgust him. _See? They're not dirty._

"Just keep your hands off of me. I'll feed myself. Free one of my hands."

With a light sigh, the ANBU motioned to her partner in the branches above them. Lounging like a housecat, the male ANBU lazily pointed at his partner, then at himself, and displayed his own hands. _It's either her or me who feeds you._

"Then I'm not hungry." Sasuke really didn't care how childish that sounded. And he would never admit that his whole midsection felt like a giant cramp from hunger.

The female ANBU tutted at him and wagged her finger in his face. _But I know that you actually are._

The Uchiha understood why they were trying to feed him. They were a good four or five days away from Konoha, and they wanted him to eat at least enough to stay conscious. Considering who he was, he was mildly surprised; he had assumed he was marked down for "death on sight."

Like a spoiled child, Sasuke turned his nose up at the food offered to him, and the masked woman left the plate atop the log he sat against. Interesting. This person didn't go out of her way to keep him nourished, nor did she dump the food when he declined it. Rather, she placed it in an easily reachable place. Sasuke was also aware of the fact that though she left his bindings in place, she left the food at a height he could eat without his hands. How thoughtful, if he was desperate enough to eat like a mongrel dog. He was still too proud and not hungry enough to resort to _that_.

Hours passed in relative silence, and the dark-haired prisoner found himself observing what would be a rather domestic-looking scene, with the male agent sewing tears in the woman's cloak, and the woman carefully cleaning both sets of their weapons. It was quite peaceful despite being bound like captured game.

In the stillness of the heavy night, Sasuke was suddenly aware of the tell-tale tickling trails of his chakra system regulating itself again under the surface of his skin. It seemed the Hyuuga's chakra blockages were wearing off. He didn't even have a chance to _pretend_ nothing was going on before the two ANBU were in his face again. _Fuck, these bastards were fast on the uptake. _ In a series of fluid movements, one of the agents blocked off the Uchiha's carotid arteries with a chokehold, and everything blurred into blackness.

_What..._

His head was throbbing and heavy...

_...the hell..._

Was he airborne? He realized that even though his head was throbbing, it wasn't from pain, but rather over-saturation of blood. A jerking bounce shoved whatever was on his stomach further into him, and his forehead bounced off something.

_I'm being carried._

His eyes shot open in time to find his face within inches of someone's ass. When he tried to yell, he found his mouth was gagged. The agitated grunting was enough to make the two ANBU stop their bounding through the treetops and set the prisoner down on a sturdy branch, at which point Sasuke found it was the man who was carrying him. _Lovely_.

Flustered at having woken up with his face bouncing off some guy's ass, Sasuke put up little resistance when the male ANBU yanked the gag down and held a canteen of water in front of his face. _Do you want some water?_

"...Yeah." He still hadn't eaten, he recalled. Water would help him more anyway.

He tilted his head back and allowed the man to pour small amounts of water as he swallowed it down. After taking in half the canteen, the ANBU put it away, paused a second, then made a weird gesture around his crotch like he was holding his...

"NO. I don't have to go to the bathroom yet," Sasuke replied prudishly.

Meanwhile, the female agent had fished a small canister out of her pack and held it up for the Uchiha's study, while pointing at his chest. He looked down and noted new chakra burn spots on his torso._ Ah,_ he mused, _my pathways are blocked again_. It seemed the woman was asking if he'd allow her to apply balm to his burns. He didn't like the idea of this woman having the chance to molest him, but he grit his teeth and nodded his approval, knowing even the smallest comfort would help his journey of being carried while strung up like a turkey. Fully expecting feminine hands to lick their way up and down his torso, he was amazed to find she finished the whole job in under a minute after some quick spot-dabbing.

As she put away the canister and refreshed herself with her own canteen, the male ANBU made the same urinating motion, then pointed at the sun and then several degrees west of that. _We'll take a bathroom break in two hours._

Sasuke nodded, and the masked man hoisted him back upon his shoulder. He tightened his back muscles to keep himself from flopping face-first into the ANBU's rear end again. As if knowing what the Uchiha was wary of, the ANBU gave the prisoner's butt a hard smack as a reminder that _he_ also had an unwanted ass in his face. Sasuke fumed and tried not to think about the fact that he was just _spanked _as the ANBU continued their trip back to Konoha.

_Four more days of this? Fuck._


End file.
